I *heart* sporks, not spraws

Just when I'm sure nothing in the world of food can surprise me, Kellogg's invents "cereal straws." They describe them as "Fruity, crunchy tubes for milk-sippin' fun!"

This is exactly what I've been missing all my life. It sickens me to think about all the time and energy I wasted as a kid, eating breakfast with my family at the table, or watching Saturday morning cartoons and actually having to lift a spoon to my mouth. When I think about all that effort... The horror of it all. It's amazing that my parents weren't cited for making me do such hard labor.

I thought food companies - particularly Kellogg's - were supposed to be changing how they market to children? Then they come out with sugar/edible straws and smoothie cereal.

Maybe I should come up with some goofy food-related product. Let's see... "Cereal spoons" that are hollow and contain a teaspoon of sugar to sprinkle over your shredded wheat. "Ketchup knives" and "mustard knives" that squirt the condiment and cut food. Who has the time to to do both? How about pickle-mustard-onion-flavored cheese for burgers? Who can be bothered with the long, drawn out process of slicing cheese AND onions, getting the pickles out of the fridge and then stacking it all on a burger.