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The Foodie Report
Ruminations on food, cooking in and eating out in our area.


It's entirely possible to be a vegetarian in Porkopolis. Pop culture reporter Lauren Bishop blogs about products, recipes and restaurants she's tried for others who eat meat-free. E-mail her at lbishop@enquirer.com.


Nicci King is an unabashed foodie and the Lifestyle/Food editor in The Enquirer's features department. She loves to discover new food faves, and she's on a daily quest to answer one burning question: What's for dinner? E-mail her at nking@enquirer.com.


Enquirer Weekend editor Julie Gaw tends to order the same dish every time she eats at a restaurant, but periodically ventures out to discover something new and fabulous. After living in China, Hong Kong, the Philippines and Thailand for more than 8 years, she craves tasty Asian food. E-mail her at jgaw@enquirer.com.


Food/dining writer Polly Campbell loves every quirk and secret of Cincinnati's food personality, and is on a constant lookout for something good to eat. Keep an eye out for her restaurant picks, or see how she's progressing toward becoming famous for her apple pie. E-mail her at pcampbell@enquirer.com.


Communities reporter Rachel Richardson is on a mission to prove vegetarians eat more than lettuce. She shares both her graduate work on American food culture and food-related news.. E-mail her at rrichardson@enquirer.com.

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Product flops

Lauren's post about the Golden Arches and the subsequent comment about the McRib has me thinking about all the "limited edition" stuff that has been pitched to us over the years. While there have been some *gulp* successes (like the McRib, apparently, since I drive by signs that read "McRib is back!" from time to time), there have been some flops. Flops are funny. So let's discuss...

McDonald's has had their fare (couldn't resist) share of failed product launches. Here are some that come to mind: Lite Mac, McSwiss, Arch Deluxe, etc... The list goes on. Anyone want to wash a McDLT down with a Crystal Pepsi? Anyone? Anyone? How about a New Coke?

What food flops are burned into your brain? Anything that should be brought back? I'm still wondering what crime a canister of Cheez Balls ever committed. Hear that, Planters? Bring 'em back!

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18 Comments:

at 12:18 PM Anonymous Schottzie03 said...

Of course McDLT flopped...their commercial suggested that eating one would turn you into a pudgy little Don Johnson impersonator.

The McRib, on the other hand, is a thing of beauty...its yearly return signifies that all is right with the world...just like Spring, the NCAA tournament and Christmas.

Keeping on the McDonalds tip...how about the green milkshakes they used to put out around St. Patricks day? They even had a green, drunken Grimace cousin as their mascot. Shamrock shakes, maybe?

 
at 12:22 PM Blogger Nicci King said...

"... their commercial suggested that eating one would turn you into a pudgy little Don Johnson impersonator."

Ha! I wonder if Jason Alexander had that on his resume when he went to audition for a role on "Seinfeld."

 
at 1:00 PM Anonymous nicejewishgirl said...

"The hot side stays hot and the cool side stays cool" Well, duh! Of course it does until you put the two together. I think that McDonalds biggest mistake ever was changing from the fried apple and cherry pies to the baked ones. Oh, the filling was ever so hot and it scalded your mouth if you didn't wait. They still serve the greasy fried ones in Italy and last time I was there I took the subway to the Piazza diSpagna McDonalds every morning for my "fix". I tried to explain my passion for them to the McDonalds workers, but they didn't care one bit, they just regarded me as the pazzo ragazza.

 
at 1:01 PM Anonymous FoodieToo said...

While the commercial leaves something to be desired....Who could resist the promise of keeping the cool side cool and the hot side hot... Genius I tell you.

You could also include fast food naming embarassments like Taco Bell calling their chili-cheese burrito, Chilito. A word that just happens to be slang for the "male member" in the Mexican Spanish dialect.

 
at 1:25 PM Blogger Nicci King said...

NJG, I am so with you on the pies. The fried ones had that crunch, bubbly crust, with an inferno of molten, sugary goodness inside. You had to be careful not to burn your tongue, lip, face, hand, etc...

Imagine my surprise and joy when I was in Shanghai a few years ago and found out they still fry the pies at the McDonald's there. (Yes, I went to Mickey D's while I was on the other side of the globe. I was homesick...) They had taro pies. YUM! My little sis is there right now and she just sent me a text saying she was eating one. (In our case, food obsession is genetic.)

 
at 1:27 PM Blogger Nicci King said...

One more thing: While we're talking about McDonald's, what the h*** is Grimace? Besides the precursor to Barney, I mean.

 
at 1:37 PM Anonymous nicejewishgirl said...

Why do they make them available in foreign markets, but not here? The baked ones aren't exactly a little bundles of healthy either, so what is the difference? Now, you've got me all worked up and missing the pies even more. I guess I'll have to travel abroad more frequently, but with the dollar being so worthless right now a small pie could cost me $6 or more.

 
at 1:52 PM Anonymous Schottzie03 said...

I think Grimace is just a blob...unless he was hiding his dinosaur tail, or tucking away his Chilito.

 
at 1:58 PM Anonymous nicejewishgirl said...

I just called McDonalds and spoke to Sheila. (This is what happens when I have a day off of work, it's raining, and I'm trying to avoid cleaning.)My suggestion that they bring back the fried pies has been duly noted.

 
at 2:06 PM Anonymous Capt.Johnny said...

They need to bring back the beef tallow in their fries too.

 
at 2:07 PM Anonymous FoodieToo said...

From McD's:
“Grimace is a big, loving, fuzzy purple fellow who is Ronald McDonald's best friend. He's sure Ronald is the world's ultimate authority on everything. While Grimace loves all McDonald's foods, he's absolutely crazy about milkshakes. Grimace is very enthusiastic and eager to try new things. His joyous spirit helps everyone overlook the fact he's a little slow and clumsy sometimes.”

 
at 3:11 PM Blogger Nicci King said...

FYI, my favorite thing about the Crystal Pepsi commercial is the power ballad. Who's with me?

 
at 3:40 PM Anonymous nicejewishgirl said...

Crystal Pepsi? Never heard of it. I remember Pepsi Light though, that lemon flavored stuff from the 70's. As for Grimace: I love the descpription, though it sounds as if he may have some special needs.

 
at 3:54 PM Anonymous Schottzie03 said...

That might have been when Van Halen flopped too..

 
at 5:04 PM Blogger Stepf said...

my favorite thing about Crystal Pepesi was the Crystal Gravy spoof on SNL. Anyone else see that? HIL-ARIOUS!!!!!

 
at 7:42 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's the transcript for the skit.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93bcrystalgravy.phtml

 
at 9:22 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

And here's the commercial:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=1538174602

 
at 11:50 AM Anonymous Anonymous said...

MickeyD's was sued by Sid And Marty Krofft Productions for ripping off HR Pufnstuf.

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990827.html

 
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